The things people say

It's pet peeve time again.

It may start with the use of unnecessary and increasingly annoying phrases like "at the end of the day" and "in relation to", but please let's be clear about where this sort of thing leads.

Today's copy of The Age carried a story by Brendan Nicholson about the status of David Hicks and other Guantanamo Bay inmates. In it he quotes US ambassador Robert McCallum, whom he interviewed for the story:

At least 12 previously detained enemy combatants have reappeared on the battlefield and that has been confirmed by normal forensic evidence which could include, but would not necessarily conclude, DNA testing, photographs, medical records, things of that nature that allow forensic scientists to identify individuals . . .

Well, I'm open to learning new turns of phrase. At least that one was understandable. Can't really say the same about his next pronouncement:

There has not been to my knowledge any dispute that some of the individuals who have been adjudged to be no longer a risk to the United States, and have been released, have then been either apprehended and detained again or have been killed and then identified.

It could just be my simple mind . . . . Did anyone else need to draw a flow chart to extract the meaning from that sentence?

And finally:

Therefore it is indisputable, and I don't think anyone disputes it, that Mr Hicks qualifies as an enemy combatant.

To my mind, not only does this qualify Mr McCallum as unique among diplomats, I'd go so far as to say there's no-one else like him.

BBC Sudo-Q Quiz Show

A number of readers have connections in the UK so I thought I'd post this call for contestants from the BBC for a new quiz show called Sudo-Q:

Are you a fan of SUDOKU?

Do you enjoy general knowledge quizzes?

If you answered yes and are lively and outgoing then we want to hear from you.

The BBC are looking for teams of two people to compete in SUDO-Q - a fun and exciting quiz show presented by Eamonn Holmes If you are interested in taking part and are over 18 please contact

* phone: 09011 110 849(calls cost 25p)
* email: sudoku@bbc.co.uk

Uberpet of the moment: Toby

D says:

Here is my poor orphan dogger, Toby. Formerly a salty, seafaring pup from San Remo, he's now adjusting to a grittier, urban life of keeping it real on the mean streets of Yarraville.

Uberpet of the moment: Wilbur

Wilbur lives on mommamia's flickr photostream

World Championship Sudoku

For those of you with a Sudoku fetish or addiction, here is a copy of the world Sudoku championship final puzzle--courtesy of thetimes.co.uk


The winning time for this puzzle was 15 minutes. Why not have a crack at it and post your time as a comment.

Moving forward

Language like this (from a job advert on seek.com) threatens to numb my brain; that is, when it's not short-circuiting it entirely:

You will be researching the development and implementation of a range of social policy issues to create strategies for moving forward.

To this I say:

Going forward, we are strongly committed to ensuring enhancement in relation to written and verbal communication skills by limiting recent innovative approaches to expression -- currently extensively in evidence -- that have a negative impact upon language usage.

(i.e. I hope this trend passes quickly.)

Thirty-six words: only two tensed verbs!

Can you pick them?

Udderly amazed

"Moo-Arr! Westcountry cows moo in farmers’ accents!"

I simply can't let this pass without comment.

I have no problem with the fact (asserted by West Country Farmhouse Cheesemakers) that

West Country cows are wrapped up in cow coats and they are played classical music to help them relax whilst being milked.

I'm even ok with Glastonbury cheesemaker Lloyd Green's claim:

I spend a lot of time with my Friesians and they definitely moo with a Somerset drawl.

No problem there. Everyone has a right to express their personal observations.

What I find disturbing is Mr Frege Green's leap from anecdotal evidence to proof-by-analogy:

I’ve spoken to the other farmers in the West Country group and they have noticed a similar development in their own herds. I think it works the same as with dogs - the closer a farmer’s bond is with his animals, the easier it is for them to pick up his accent.

Of course! It's much easier to accept the world is flat when you realise it would roll straight off the backs of those turtles if it were round.

- - -

Reuters have reported on this, or you may have seen it on the ABC.

Gyuto Monks

The Gyuto Monks of Tibet are concluding their year-long "Good Karma" tour of Australia with a two week residency at the Incinerator Arts complex in Moonee Ponds (Victoria), which finishes this Sunday 27 August. If you live nearby and haven't met the monks on one of their previous trips (or even if you have) I encourage you to head over and take in the vibe. There are usually one or two monks working on the large but intricate sand mandala that, once it is completed, will be swept away and the sand poured into the river (or sea) after a colourful procession on Sunday afternoon.

I attended one of their half-day harmonic throat singing workshops during their residency at Gas Works a few years ago. I found it impossible to produce anything resembling the rumbling harmonic resonances that the three instructor monks managed to make sound like a monastery full of throat-chanting wizards and it didn't really help when one of the monks -- coming over to observe my technique and provide technical advice -- pointed at my throat, shook his head vigorously from side to side, then pointed at my navel, nodded and smiled. In what was surely the most gratuitous bit of translation for the day, the interpreter explained: "Not from here (throat). From HERE! (navel)"

What was I supposed to do with THAT?

Then the monk laughed, eyes a-twinkle.

(Translation: "Muhahahahahahaha!")

I swear for the rest of that day and into the evening every aeroplane flying overhead, every fridge motor running in the background, every truck I could hear driving in the distance sounded like those throat-singing monks.

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Full details of the last few days of their program can be found HERE. This year's sand mandala will apparently look something like this:

[Image from www.tibet-initiative.de]

A writerly turn of phrase

Australian author Gerald Murnane recently described his soon to be published collection of short stories to The Australian's Rosemary Neill:

Barley Patch, he says, resembles the "fungus on a corpse of a book that would have been the biggest and most ambitious I've ever had published".

The complete interview here.

Changes

I've been playing around with the format of this blog and will continue to do so over the coming days. All the content should remain available but the layout may change while you're looking the other way.